The name is in honor of my spouse, a nephrology expert in this country who dialyzed patients everyday. This is someone who could explain the process, hold scared hands, and comfort scared families to such a degree that the care that was received became part of the healing itself. As dialysis was explained to me, it means: the cleansing of cells — the vital blood force that circulates through your body to the degree that it enables health. Dialysis allows patients with failing kidneys to get rid of the toxins — giving them a chance to live productive lives.
Given the fact that my spouse was an expert at saving lives through dialysis, I find it ironic that cancer — the one disease that dialysis couldn’t touch, is the one that ended this life.
My spouse and best friend was diagnosed with cancer in 2009. At the time of diagnosis, we had three wonderful children.
When you hear the words:
the meaning of life really does change in an instant.
We had an incredible team of doctors, and an enormous amount of faith. The process of healing from cancer, as we understood it at the time, is interesting. Tearing down one’s immune system so that it will come back bigger and better, is let’s just say, NOT FUN.
We went on this terrifying ride. We heard good news that we celebrated, and relapses that were devastating. All the while knowing and praying that life would return to us in a way that would make sense again. I know now that hoping as hard as we did, and believing as confidently as we did, is what got us through four years of a valiant fight.
We would stare at our “Never, Never, Never Give Up” magnet on the fridge daily. Our life was loving each other, and our children, with the same intensity that we used to conquer the cancer. The more aggressive the cancer got, the more aggressively we loved, prayed, and visualized wholeness.
In 2013, we lost our battle. It wasn’t due to lack of anything. The cancer just won.
My perception of life has so radically altered, that I am left with the knowledge that love does conquer all. This may sound ridiculous, however, I have found that through intense suffering really does come intense love, learning, strength, and oddly, a profound appreciation. This way of thinking sustains me.
Our family was intensely loved. Our children were cherished. Our lives were made better by the character and devotion of my spouse. The Dialysis of Healing describes the passion and life force that was brought to the world. The name honors an incredible life.
The Dialysis of Healing is a forum to share ideas and heartache towards any area of healing.